


Sound Effects

by SCFrankles



Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Community: watsons_woes, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:45:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6695986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SCFrankles/pseuds/SCFrankles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watson is putting on his first play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sound Effects

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the April 2016 Prompt: [Stormy Weather](http://watsons-woes.livejournal.com/1486538.html) at [Watson's Woes](http://watsons-woes.livejournal.com/) on LJ. 
> 
> Holmes and Watson are the creations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
> 
> * * *

_Sherlock Holmes, Inspector Stanley Hopkins, Mrs. Hudson and Mrs. Turner are sitting in a semicircle onstage. Watson is standing facing them._

WATSON: ...so on the whole a positive rehearsal, but if you could try and say the lines as I actually wrote them that would be splendid. Now, a few specific pointers…

_He turns to Inspector Hopkins._

WATSON: Could you try not to look quite so startled when Mrs. Turner kisses you? It does rather detract from the romance of the moment.

HOPKINS: _(smiling weakly)_ Of course, Doctor.

_Watson turns to Mrs. Turner._

WATSON: And could you perhaps… shorten… the kiss a little?

MRS. TURNER: _(grinning)_ I’ll try.

_Mrs. Hudson gives her young former employee a severe look._

_Watson turns to Holmes._

WATSON: Firstly, Holmes—thank you for taking on the sound effects...

HOLMES: Well, as there wasn’t a _part_ for me…

WATSON: Not _again_. As I’ve said repeatedly, Mrs. Hudson gave the better audition for the role of the evil Count.

_Mrs. Hudson looks rather smug._

HOLMES: _(muttering)_ But I’d already got the costume and everything…

WATSON: Can we move on? Now, I have to say your effects are splendid.

HOLMES: _(graciously)_ Thank you.

WATSON: Your use of drums for the thunder was greatly effective. That huge crash of thunder when Mrs. Hudson made her first entrance especially.

HOLMES: Actually, that was Hopkins tripping over my bag of cymbals.

WATSON: _(jovially)_ Why—did you startle him by kissing him?

_Exceedingly long pause._

HOLMES: So you’re happy with my performance?

WATSON: Well… _(he shifts awkwardly)_ I have to say the enthusiasm of your drumming does sometimes rather obscure the dialogue in places…

HOLMES: Oh, yes?

WATSON: Yes. _(he smiles weakly)_ And there is the small matter that the action is supposed to be occurring on a bright summer’s day..?

HOLMES: But there are summer storms too! And I thought it added drama to the...

WATSON: I am just not entirely certain it fits with the subtleties of the play. 

HOLMES: _(in a huff)_ Well, if you’re not even going to let me do my effects, when you won’t let me play the evil Count _either—_

WATSON: _(rolls his eyes)_ Fine. Fine! You do your thunder. Just… try to keep it down a little.

_He looks round at everyone._

WATSON: Well, I think that is everything for today. If you could all please review your lines, and we will reconvene in a week for the dress rehearsal!

_Everybody gets up and Watson goes off to one side to retrieve his hat and coat._

_The others gather in a huddle._

MRS. TURNER: _(whispering)_ Well done, Mr. Holmes!

MRS. HUDSON: If you keep that up during the actual performance, the worst of the dialogue should be drowned out.

_Hopkins glances over at Watson who is unrolling a poster and gazing proudly at it._

HOPKINS: Are you sure it wouldn’t be simpler just to tell him he can’t write plays?

HOLMES: Oh, no. That would truly hurt his feelings.

 _Holmes glances over at the poster for_ Count Sylvius and the Mazarin Stone _and winces._

HOLMES: I think on the whole, this is the best course of action.

WATSON: _(looking up)_ Everything all right over there?

HOLMES: Oh, yes, dear fellow. Perfectly fine…

_And Holmes, Hopkins, Mrs. Turner and Mrs. Hudson smile brightly in unison._

_All exit. (Quickly.)_


End file.
